Something I have
been trying to work on for years and have to date failed to master, is
criticism. That word by itself draws up negative and painful imagery in our
minds. Criticism feels like a personal attack that will wound our pride and
egos if we permit the attacker to continue. It erroneously leaves us with the
sense that we are no longer valuable.
Receiving Criticism
Receiving criticism
does not mean that you have no value or even that you are wrong. It means that
you can be better.
Our flaws and
imperfections can hurt us emotionally. The mistakes we make can generate allot
of pain but it is far worse to go through life repeating those same mistakes.
"Do not correct a scoffer, lest he
hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you." - Proverbs 9:8 (NKJV)
When you are criticized:
- Always react in a good way
- Remember this person is trying to do right according to their own perspective.
- Be grateful and genuinely thank the person for their input.
- Think it over. Why does this person perceive this?
- Ask them for more detail.
The Hebrew word
for criticism, toch'acha, is from the same word as hoch'acha, meaning
"proof". This teaches that the only way to convince anyone of
anything is by clear and obvious proof. The person must see for himself what he
is doing wrong.
Giving and
receiving criticism must be for the right reasons and never for the purpose of
humiliating your opponent. If we truly love each other, we will happily give
and receive criticism.
"A soft answer
turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger."
- Proverbs 15:1
(NKJV)
Giving Criticism
Scripture teaches us that if we
truly love our neighbor, we will give constructive criticism:
"You shall not hate your brother in
your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of
him." -Leviticus 19:17 (NKJV)
The whole point
of someone giving criticism is that they wish for you to see their point. This
provides you the opportunity to grow and to build a better relationship with
that person.
It is no mistake
in scripture that the very next verse (Leviticus 19:18) teaches us to "you
shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD."
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of
your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart
grace to the hearers." - Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV)
